How to Get Your Ex Back
Breaking up is a painful process, whether you were the one to end the relationship or not. Sometimes, you may have second thoughts and decide that you miss your ex and are still in love with him or her. When emotions are running high, however, you are liable to make rash decisions. In order to get your ex back, you must consider why you broke up in the first place, who ended the relationship and how to tell if he or she feels the same way you do now.
1. Is the relationship really worth reviving? Think about what went wrong the first time. If one of you cheated on the other, the recovery process may be a lot more painful and certainly requires forgiveness on the part of the wronged party. Did you find yourself arguing constantly towards the end of the relationship? Think about what those arguments were usually about: money, religious beliefs, family, or something more simple like who should clean the house. Also, evaluate whether you are still attracted to your ex. Did the relationship fizzle out? These are all important questions to consider before deciding how to get your ex back. Some relationships are better left in the past, while others deserve a second chance.
2. Think about who did the breaking up. If you were the one to initiate it, then your ex is likely heartbroken and may not have wanted the relationship to end. However, if you were the one who was dumped, your ex may have already moved on to someone new (or had someone waiting in the wings). He or she may not be open to the idea of rekindling things.
3. Consider how much time has passed since the breakup has occurred. If it was recently, you both still might be feeling strongly about the situation. Sometimes it's good to put a little distance between the two of you first so you have time to think and can approach the situation more logically. However, if you wait too long, the healing process may pass and your ex may move on to someone new. How long you wait will depend on how long you were with your ex in the first place and if you've stayed in touch since the breakup.
4. Once you have evaluated the situation and decided it is worth it to get your ex back, now it's time to make your move. Since relationships are never one-sided, chances are you did or said some hurtful things before or during the breakup. The first step is to re-establish connection if it has been lost, and then apologize. Don't immediately bring up getting back together, but indicate that you miss him or her in your life.
5. If your ex seems open to the idea of talking with or seeing you, slowly build up trust by spending some time together as friends. Meet in neutral environments like restaurants or coffee shops, but avoid meeting for a drink and getting drunk, which often leads to regrettable outcomes with exes.
6. After you have reconnected with your ex and you feel he or she is open to reconsidering, bring up the fact that you would like to give the relationship another try. Be prepared for rejection, but if your ex wants to get back together too, appreciate this second chance and work hard to correct your past problems.
